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It is vital to decide what it is you want from a relationship, and, once you've established that, it is vital to look for that relationship in a space that can cater to your desires.

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If you meet someone who does not "look their age" to the point where you guess that they are ten years younger than quoted, and they are actually significantly older than you, would you explore a relationship (all other factors being positive-- attraction, personality, etc.) yes 2. Say you are a straight man and this is a straight woman? There was one thread where a poster told another she looked "ridiculous" (mind you these two have never seen one another) and I have several friends in their late 30s and 40s who are dating guys 10-13 years younger who always get flack from family and friends. I think it takes a very secure person to date someone who has significant differences, whether they are age, ability, looks, wealth or whatever.

And the message above proves why we need them: Lesbians, like other minority sexual identities, are often fetishized and viewed as a novelty for people wishing to experiment.

On sites like Ok Cupid, gay women are too often treated as useful objects to furnish your threesome fantasies. Some attempts at sites for lesbian and bi women, like Brenda, have been met with lukewarm enthusiasm.

For the young and straight, there are Tinder and Ok Cupid; for the gay male community, Grindr and Scruff.

But while sites for American women seeking women do exist, there are not enough "safe spaces" specific to the diverse range of queer women's interests.