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You do not have to ask permission to call someone in the same way you have to ask for permission to, say, marry them. In fact, a single two-minute phone call has been known to replace 5 days of meandering inconclusive texting. You would stick your forefinger in a number hole, turn it around all the way , then wait for the ringing signal to speak to someone. Now of course you can say “Call Madison” to Siri, or just lick the smartphone screen, and it will do the same thing. ,” and then your Conversational Response Decision Tree explodes out into a gazillion branches — do I go nonchalant? or do I actually risk real vulnerability and tell ’em that my hair’s frizzy and I’m broke? And for top-notch public speaking training, there’s also KNP Communications — if we’re good enough for 70 members of Congress, we just might be good enough for you, too. It used to be you could say “Gotta run”, but that doesn’t work anymore because everyone knows your phone is on you when you run (and also when you’re driving, eating, peeing and showering). So unless you’re inside someone’s skull removing a medulloblastoma, or beating back ISIS with your bare hands, you are not doing anything more important than speaking to friends who for some reason still seem to care about your text-only negligent ass.

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